Top 10 Signs You Need New Glasses

26 11 2007

j0426505 (2)

1. You have to use your hand to feel your way safely past furniture, even when the light is on.

2. When cracking an egg, you miss the pan entirely and the contents of the egg lands with a splat on the counter.

3. You’re afraid to open the cupboard door because every time you venture to take out a glass, your nose takes a beating.

4. You watch a movie feeling completely lost while wondering, “Why doesn’t it tell you where the characters are now?” Only to discover later that it had had subtitles the entire time and you never noticed.

5. You feel as if you’ve just completed the visual equivalency of a marathon every time you successfully read an entire chapter in only one sitting and then celebrate by closing the book.

6. When filling out a job application, you write down the skills and experiences that you feel make you a prime candidate for the job you’re currently applying for in the “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” section.

7. Everyone else is able to read the street sign before you’re even able to see it.

8. Asking questions like, “Is this a ‘G’ or an ‘S?’” becomes a part of your daily life.

9. A page in a book comes closer to resembling Alphabet Soup than readable text.

10. To your shock, you discover one of your favorite clipart pictures of a beautiful, old cottage in the countryside is actually a picture of a riding lawnmower on a golf course.

I scored ten out of ten, and that’s why I’m getting new glasses. 🙂 

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8 responses

27 11 2007
babychaos

I do number 6 the whole time, even when I’ve just got a new pair of glasses. That’s because I’m a spanner though. Also with you on the street signs – I spent a year asking all my friends why they made them so blummin’ small and ditto with the “next train is…” displays on the tube, until some brave soul suggested I get my eyes tested. Enjoy your super-duper, improved vision when new specs arrive!

Cheers

BC

Thank you, BC. I plan on enjoying them. 🙂

27 11 2007
Richmond

I definitely don’t need one.

27 11 2007
Richmond

I think I need a pair of Hearing Aids.

4 12 2007
~m

I can’t even see this post.
~m

Aw, the joys of needed glasses. 😛

~Kelsey

7 12 2007
thedesktop

You can’t see it, but I’m nodding along knowingly.

🙂

~Kelsey

23 12 2007
krislinatin

1 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.

2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him—
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD –

3 and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
or decide by what he hears with his ears;

4 but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.

5 Righteousness will be his belt
and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

6 The wolf will live with the lamb,
the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling [a] together;
and a little child will lead them.

7 The cow will feed with the bear,
their young will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.

8 The infant will play near the hole of the cobra,
and the young child put his hand into the viper’s nest.

9 They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD
as the waters cover the sea.
Merry Christmas Kelsey!

24 12 2007
dancingboysmom

Haven’t been by in a while, sorry. But I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.

Sara

18 06 2008
Incremental

Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

cheers, Incremental.

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