Titles: The Best of the Worst

12 06 2007

Movies:j0407202 (2)

1-“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies” (Well, that sounds like Academy Award winning writing there )  

2-“Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (Aw, a match made in hell)

3-“Herbie: Fully Loaded” (Before Herbie joined AA)

4-“Ssssssss” (That would have been an interesting one to order tickets to. “I’d like two tickets to Ssssss please.”)

5-“Leonard, Part 6” (Only weird when you realized parts one through five don’t exist)

6-“Killer Klowns from Outer Space” (This sounds like a dream I’d have)

7-“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” (I knew they’d run out of good holiday movie plots after “Rudolph”)

8-“To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar” (Rather than sounding romantic, it makes me feel like I’m reading someone’s personal mail)

Country Songs:

1-“They May Put Me in Prison, But They Can’t Stop my Face from Breakin’ Out” (A teenage country song, I’m sure)

2-“Pardon Me, I’ve Got Someone to Kill” (Well, by all means…)

3-“You Can’t Roller Skate in A Buffalo Herd” (I’m glad you finally figured that out)

4-“How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life” (What I’d like to know is, how did they fit that title on the CD?)

5-“Mama Get the Hammer (There’s A Fly on Papa’s Head)” (Maxwell Silver Hammer as a child)

6-“My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don’t Love Jesus” (I’m sorry?)

7-“If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow it All on You” (And why on earth would you want to do that?)

8-“If You Don’t Leave Me Alone, I’ll Go and Find Someone Else Who Will” (Some people were truly meant to be single)

9-“If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?” (Maybe it’s written from the perspective of a dog?)

10-“My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart” (There’s nothing like the reference to a tracker to really pull at your heart strings)

11-“Oh, I’ve Got Hair Oil on My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You” (Short, sweet and to the point)

Albums:

1-“Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” (That’d make a horrible ice cream flavor)

2-“TP-2.com” (A blog about toilet paper, maybe?)

3-“When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King What He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The Fight And He’ll Win The Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters The Ring There’s No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land And If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You’ll Know That You’re Right” (He was told to write a title, but instead he wrote a boxing jingle)

What about you?  What are some of your favorite sour titles?

(For more horribly funny titles check out WriterChick’s Post “Entitled…”)

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10 responses

11 06 2007
Ashley

LOL, kels, this made me laugh so hard… miss ya!

I’m glad to hear it made you laugh, Ash. This was a completely lazey post, all I had to do was write a few short sentances of commentary. 🙂

I miss you, too! We should make a phone date, I haven’t talk to you in quite awhile.

~Kelsey

13 06 2007
thedesktop

heh, I like the comment on the last one.

what you said about Leonard, Part 6 is probably the same thing you’d say about Star Wars. If this were 1977.

Actually, I do remember saying something to that affect while watching Star Wars befored The Phantom Menace was underway, or at least before they’d began shooting it. With Star Wars, though, I figured George Lucas had something brewing, even though I hadn’t heard anything about it at that point. I doubt any prequels are brewing for Leonard, but who knows. There have been a million an one “Land Before Time” movies, so I guess anything’s possible 😛

~Kelsey

13 06 2007
babychaos

There’s a great country and western song… “Drop Kick me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life!” Definitely a cracker!
Cheers
BC

That’s hysterical! 😆

~Kelsey

13 06 2007
Ashley

we haven’t talked in a while, i did email you though which in my case is amazing, lol. we should make a phone date though, email me a day or something and i’ll see if i can do it…
miss ya!

I haven’t been too hot about keeping up with my email lately either.

I’ll take a look at the calander and email you a day.

~Kelsey

18 06 2007
Victor

haha I thought it was a joke when I started reading it.

Nope, they’re all real. A few of them I wasn’t sure of, so I looked them up. Maybe I could get a job naming movies and country songs. I think I could come up with some wacky ones, too. 😉

Welcome to my other blog, Victor! Currently, this is my main blog. The other one will be up and running in a couple of weeks, or at least, that’s what I’m hoping. I’ve been too busy lately to give it the time it needs.

I hope you come again. 🙂

~Kelsey

23 06 2007
Lita

LOL. Those are good (er, bad). And people actually watch/listen to these things??? Eesh.

Pretty amazing, huh? What really gets me isn’t that a few people might actually watch and listen to them, but that someone had to come up with the idea in the first place and enough people thought it was worth making! lol

Welcome to my blog, Lita. Thank you for taking the time to comment. 🙂

~Kelsey

2 07 2007
Insufferable Know-It-All

One of my favourites: “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off”

Oh, that’s a good one. It also makes for a funny saying. 🙂

Welcome to my blog! Thanks for taking the time to comment. I hope you’ll stop by again sometime. 🙂

~Kelsey

4 07 2007
hmurph

Nice one. Very funny. 🙂
~H

Thanks, Hannah. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂

~Kelsey

29 07 2007
Ashley

It’s strange, but everytime I need a good laugh I always come back to this post, It’s just so hilarious that people came up with these titles… I also like the post before this of the stuff you’ve heard people say…
ash

I didn’t know you’d read this more than once, Ashley. Well, I’m glad it’s able to provide a good laugh when you need one. 🙂

~Kelsey

30 07 2007
Nita

Those were so freaking funny. Nita

I’m glad you enjoyed them. 🙂

It’s crazy the sorts of weird titles people come up with.

~Kelsey

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