The Measure of a Godly Man

1 12 2006

Once, back in early elementary school, some of my friends were playing “matchmaker” in the back of the car.  They tried to figure out which of the short, wild, cootie infested seven-year-olds would be the best match for each of us.  Since I wasn’t cooperating, they asked me what my requirements in a guy were, so they’d have a better idea of what I’d want.  Even at seven I didn’t like people meddling in my affairs, so with a twinge of indignation I responded, “He’ll love God and have a good job.”  Short, sweet and to the point.   

I’m often posed with this question now by friends and meddlesome older woman, and my list actually hasn’t changed much.  My list of requirements isn’t long, but it’s far from easy to find.  I’d want him to be a man who’s on fire for God in a way that’d be evident in the way he lives out his life, and he’d be someone I’d be willing to follow (“willing” being the keyword). 

Of course, I wouldn’t complain if he listened to “The Beatles,” liked cats, enjoyed classic literature, and could swing dance, but those are all minor things that will never make their way into becoming requirements.  

Recently, when I told the young lady who’d asked, what my requirements were, she commented, “Oh, that’ll be easy for you to find, Kelsey.  Since you’re not picky, you won’t have any trouble.”  I was then informed that whenever I decide I’d like to get hitched, I could go anyplace where church-goers are present(church, mission trips, club, etc.) and they’re be “godly” men everywhere.  I just laughed, because I’m not searching for a guy, and sadly, the percentage of goldy men (and women) at a Christian get-together are much smaller than she was imagining.     

As we talked, it became obvious that the term “godly” equated with “salvation” in this young woman’s mind.  She assumed just because someone had “prayed the prayer,” could pepper their conversations with “Christianize,” had a fish plastered on their car, and set foot inside a church door a couple times a year meant they were good to go.  But my idea of a “godly” person is much different.  It doesn’t mean they’re perfect, it means they’re continually growing and learning in their faith, they chose to be more than a sanitized version of the world; they chose to be something completely different, and they use the Bible as the plumb line to measure their life against, rather than using their personal feelings and preferences to measure the Bible.         

When I’ve explained this to people in the past, generally, they inform me I should probably marry a pastor.  But if the Church isn’t just made up of the building and the pastor — if each and every one of us is the church — why are the only people who are truly living out their faith often just the leadership? 

Godly men easy to find?  I think it would be easier to find someone if I crossed off “godly” and wrote down every stupid, superficial thing I could possibly think.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not on a “guy hunt” or even worried about the fact that there aren’t any godly men on my doorstep with flowers.  I’m perfectly content with being single right now.  It’s the fact that godly men and woman seem to be in danger of extinction that I find disconcerting. This shortage of true godly men and woman — who honestly have God as the final authority in their lives — goes far beyond annoyance; it’s heartbreaking, and it’s devastating to the Church. 

Why — even in the church – have the godly men and woman become the minority? 




5 responses

2 12 2006

You said: “This shortage of true godly men, who honestly have God as the final authority in their lives, goes far beyond annoyance; it’s truly devastating to the Church, and it’s heartbreaking. Why — even in the church – have the godly men and woman become the minority? This isn’t the way it should be.”

I have struggled with this question for years! I was not discipled as a young/new Christian, like so many others I know, and in my opinion, I believe that is where it starts.
Then, I believe, it’s how and what you’re taught. And last, but certainly not least, how you apply it to your life (putting your faith into action).

As far as you finding Mr. Right, God has a way of working those things out. But being like-minded and having the same spiritual goals, are things you should discuss before “setting a date.”

God bless you, Kelsey! 🙂

It’s nice to know others have asked the some question. How someonne’s taught (home, church, studies, etc.) does have a lot to do with it, and then what they decide to do with what they learn.

As far as “Mr. Right” goes, I’m not looking, and I’m not worried about it. I want to live my life to its fullest whether single, or married. Too many people waste the time they have right now hoping for the next life stage, waiting for “real” life be begin, but in waiting for it to start, they watch thier life go by without them.

You’re right, those are very important things to discuss beforehand. You need to know if you’re both on the same page.

2 12 2006

Godly men might not run in herds, but they sure don’t survive outside of fellowship.
Why are the Church’s passions so divided (mine included)? I think it’s been that way for a while, read what Jesus’ says to the Church in Revelation. Here’s to a faithful God and an ever increasing trust.

I’m sure there are a lot of reasons why godly men and women have become the minority in the Church, and you’re right, it’s not a new problem; it’s been around for awhile.

Personally, I think growing up in the Church for some people is like getting a vaccination; it gives them just enough to make them immune.

Growing up in the Church can be someone’s greatest asset, but I think it can also easily be their greatest hindrance.


2 12 2006

i love that you know your heart and your mind so well. And you shall find that man you want in your life when you are ready to. In this politically correct world it is hard to find people’s true hearts – but they are there.


Thank you.

Yes, it is hard to find people’s true hearts these days, but it’s wonderful when people do allow you to see them for who they truly are.


2 12 2006

Good for you in that you know what it is you are looking for in a man. I hope and am sure you will never “settle” for anyone that is not right for you. God works in mysterious ways and by his time table not ours. When God knows the time to be right he will have you meet the right man.
I love your last reply to the comment. You say it is hard to find people’s true hearts these day, but itis wonderful when people do allow you to see them for who they truely are.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone was open and honest. Life would be so much easier, the world would be so much better.

Yes, it would be wonderful if people were open and honest, and not only that, but we were truly able to be without it being a problem. It’s sad that we so often feel the need to wear masks to hide who we are, what we feel and think.


27 03 2007

A huge problem in the church is that people think they’re the church on Sundays, or maybe even one other night a week if they’re in a Bible study. We are the church every day, every where we go. If we wake up praying, “God show me opportunities to share You with others today, help me to show Your love and talk about you with someone”, He will answer! But it’s so much easier to pray “Help me get through work, help me clean my house, help me get along with so-and-so.” But as we pursue God and seek to be the bride of Christ in every aspect of our lives, He will bring others around us who do the same. It’s so exciting to meet someone (friend, mentor, future husband!) who has the same passion for following Christ daily.

Yes, it’s wonderful to meet someone who shares the same desire for following Christ wholeheartedly; a kindred spirit. 🙂


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