Unchangeable and Mysterious

19 11 2006

At church, my pastor’s been going through the names of God.  El Olam (God eternal; unchangeable; hidden) has been the name that’s meant the most to me right now.  If I’m allowed to have a favorite name for God during a particular season of life, this would be it. God is unchangeable.  The same characteristics that are true about Him today will always be true of Him.  In the mists of the whirlwinds of life He is the Rock that we can place our faith in, but there’s also an element of El Olam that is hidden and mysterious.  I’m not able to comprehend all that He does and why.  The last few years have been very hard.  For a long time I thought my dad was indifferent to me, and I was angry and hurt, but then I found out that he wasn’t intentionally distancing himself from me; he was dying and his brain was slowly beginning to deteriorate and because of that he’d lost the ability to be apart of my life.  It’s been hard on all of us; it’s shaken us each to our very core.

I don’t understand why God has allowed these things to happen.  I don’t like it, and don’t always feel loved, but regardless of how I feel and what circumstances seem to be saying; He hasn’t changed. I can know God is still good no matter what circumstances tell me.Even when I can’t see what God is doing, it seems like every thing in life says that God is anything but good, I can hang on to the fact that He is good and that’s not going to change.  Whether God feels close enough to touch, or like He’s taken up permanent residence on the dark side of the moon, everything I’ve ever known to be true of Him still holds true today; God loves me.

I love God’s name El Olam; it’s beautiful and very challenging, because it requires faith in things unseen.  

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3 responses

20 11 2006
timglass

Kelsey,
There is no way for me to even imagine what you (and your whole family) are going through. I am continuing to pray for you all.
It would be so easy to give up, and head the other direction. Easy ,that is, unless you’re grounded in the truth. When I was (much) younger, I was not “grounded” in truth, so it was easy for me to walk away, from living a godly life and prayer and obedience and all that…. to serve myself. To hide my pain in unhealthy and dangerous ways.
I can feel the pain you are in, but I also notice that you are well grounded. Continue in this way!
As you wrote in a previous post, Jesus suffered in all areas, like we do, and He is always here to comfort us, no matter the circumstances we face.
There is also a verse of scripture I would like to share with you;
Colossians 1:24,” I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church,”
If we see redemption in suffering (as in the Cross) then we can see our suffering as redemptive. In other words, Jesus didn’t suffer meaninglessly, and we don’t have to either. Our suffering leads to spiritual discipline and greater faith for ourselves, but , also witnesses to others who do not know God, or don’t know Him on a deeper level.
God bless you, Kelsey. I hope these words encourage you, as your writings here encourage me!
His blessings this day.

Thank you, Tim. Your comment was very encouraging. It’s always helpful to remember that there’s no such thing as “pointless pain.” God allows things into our lives, and even though we sometimes can’t see it until much later, they do bring about growth, and it’s also an opportunity to be a witness. It might now make things “feel” better, but it helps to get things in perspective.

And thank you for your prayers.

~Kelsey

20 11 2006
hudds53

Kelsey,
I am so glad you have been able to realize that it was and is the disease that is causing you father to seem to be distant or uncareing. In his heart where it realy matters, I am sure he loves you more every day. It is just with his brain disease he is no longer able to show or express his love and feelings.
It is so good you are not loosing you faith in God, hang on to that. Know he is always with you. It is not always for us to understand why some things happen in our lives, but to just know God is there with us. Always ready to help us through the most difficult times.
To say you are in a difficult situation is really minimizing it, you are in an extremely difficult position. There can be times when the future just looks hopeless, with no end to the pain in sight. Turn to God, place your faith and trust in Him and you will get through it. Even though at this moment that may seem impossible.
You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers

Because I’d originally believed my dad was fully aware and in control of the way he was relating with people it was challenging to shift gears entirely to being able to recognize it wasn’t what he wanted, but when I was finally able to, it was good to know my does love me.

I will keep holding on to God; He’s my Rock.

Thank you for the encouragement and the prayers, Bill.

~Kelsey

21 11 2006
Mrs. Nicklebee

(((((Kelsey))))),

I really appreciate this post. Thanks for the reminder that God is the same God that He always was or ever will be, regardless of how we feel.

And YES, you can have a favorite name of God. 🙂

Mrs. Nicklebee,

Thank you for commenting. I’m glad I can have a favorite name of God.

~Kelsey

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