Let it Be

11 10 2006

I can’t even begin to fathom why You’d allow so much pain and suffering. Why would You, an all-powerful God, allow children to watch their dad, the man they love and adore, slowly slip away from them until he’s gone, out of their reach? Why would You leave mothers to care for themselves and their grieving children alone? Lord, I don’t understand, it doesn’t make sense why a loving God would let things like this happen to His children.

Sometimes, when I take a moment to reflect, the pain hurts so much I can hardly breathe. I’ve lost Dad. He’s no longer the man he was. My dad’s gone, and I never even got to say goodbye. Sometimes I see traces of him for a moment, but dementia has robbed my brother, sister and me of our dad, my mom of her husband, and there’s no getting him back again.

I know several kids whose dads have fatal diseases, too. Even though I know the pain, I have nothing grand and helpful to say, but there’s nothing anyone can say anyway that can ease the pain of watching someone you love dearly leave you. A line in a song said “Love is watching someone die.” Love does stay with the person, but it’s not easy. Sometimes I wish I could run away from the whole thing, imagine the pain away, but no amount of make-believe or running will change things.

Lord, I don’t understand why You’d let things like this happen. I can’t see how having families overwhelmed with grief brings glory to Your name. Lord I don’t like it and I don’t feel loved, but I still believe that You love me and I believe that You truly know best. Lord, I believe, but I ask that You’d help my unbelief. Give me the grace to walk down this road without answers to my questions.

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5 responses

22 10 2006
bonnieq

There are answers, Moe: in God’s Written Word. All of our questions are answered there, always. However, I do understand your plight and the pain of watching your Dad slip away little by little. My own daughter is having to go through that with me, albeit for far different health reasons.

Never ask, “Why me” or “Why someone else?” Let it be, “Why not me?” It is not what happens to us that impresses God. It is how we handle it that impresses or distresses our Father.

I know it is of no help at the moment, but in the next few days I will be posting an article to my blog, “From Adversity to Blessings,” which Biblically discusses the various adversities, trials and tribulations we go through during our lifetime: why we go through them and what to look for on the other side. I hope you will read it when I do get it posted, for I think it really will help you through this current trial.

Love in Christ,
http://bonnieq.wordpress.com
Truth Seekers and Speakers, see blogroll

23 10 2006
bonnieq

Just in case you are interested, Moe, I posted “From Adversities to Blessings” this evening.

Love and prayers,
http://bonnieq.wordpress.com
Truth Seekers and Speakers

23 10 2006
Moe

“As Christians we know, in theory at least, that in the life of a child of God there are no second causes, that even the most unjust and cruel things, as well as all seemingly pointless and undeserved sufferings, have been permitted by God as a glorious opportunity for us to react to them in such a way that our Lord and Savior is able to produce in us, little by little, his own lovely character.”
–Hannah Hurnard, from Hinds’ Feet on High Places

I think this quote fits in well with your comment. Yes, it is how we handle the cards we’ve been delt that matters the most, not why we’ve been given them.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I’m happy to check out your post.

Grace for the moment,
-Kelsey

13 12 2006
michaelm

Brilliant post.
I’ve harboured much anger myself over the years with two parents diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My mom died in July 2005 and my dad is currently wasting away in the dementia endgame.
His soul is long gone but someone forgot to take his body.
I’ll be by to read some more. Can’t help but feel a link here is inevitable.
Thanks for my morning read.
I understand.

~m

13 12 2006
Moe

M,

Generally, when people say they understand they have no idea, but you actually do understand. I’m so sorry about both of your parents. Dementia is a horrible thing for anyone to have to deal with; it’s so painful to be grieving the lose of someone you care able while they’re still alive. It’s like a long and very painful goodbye, and I’m so sorry you can relate.

My dad has Frontal Lobe Dementia, which is often know as “the dementia of the young.” He’s still in his forties, but because he was beginning to lose impose control he was no longer able to live with the rest of us at home. He isn’t functioning well enough to be on his own, but at this point, there isn’t anything else to do, because we weren’t safe living with him.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate hearing from someone who can understand the pain.

-Kelsey

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