love you lots!
Destiny

You’re right; it does seem like we ought to pray for others, so that they’ll know how to handle things. Too often “the deer in the headlights” thing happens, because people don’t know what to do. I know for my self, I use to feel like I need to some how make it “better” if I was talking with someone who was going through something hard, but since there wasn’t anything I could do, it would seem very awkward.

Since I’m now also the way making people awkward, I can see that you don’t really have to say much of anything, sometimes it’s best to say nothing, and just listen. I didn’t learn how to handle it myself until I was the one dealing with all the “deer” who didn’t know what to do with me. It does make it easier to be gracious with people who don’t know what to do, or what to say; I didn’t have any idea before either.

-Kelsey

Glad to know you’re feeling better – when you’re sick, it must only makes matters worse.

Many times over the years, I can remember telling a good friend of mine: “Whatever it is I’m supposed to be learning, can’t I just get a postcard or something?? I want to be done already!” It is human nature to “want out” when in pain, I believe. It took me a long time to realize I was learning to lean on the Lord through my pain, and continue to learn this daily.

Thankfully, my good friend was a blessing for also helping me to focus on who God is when I needed this the most.

In His Love,
Debi

I’m willing to bet that the people in the group you were with learned something from you plodding ahead into uncomfortable territory and asking the guy how he was doing. It may not have completely sunk in but it’ll click eventually.

I think it’s okay and even appropriate to pray for God to give everyone the grace and wisdom to deal with the situation at hand when things like what you experienced happen. Mostly I ask God to help me. It just occured to me that maybe I need to also ask God to help those who are with me. Even Christians can be like deer caught in the headlights when something out of our realm of knowledge or experience comes up.

Thank you for asking. How I’m doing can change from day to day. I’ve been sick for a few weeks, which always makes even little things harder to cope with, so it’s good to be feel better again.

Sometimes, the reality of my dad’s heath can just seem very factual; I can almost feel numb to the pain. Since we’re no longer living with him anymore — because we weren’t safe — there’s now a chance to breathe and heal; both of which we all need. I’m currently trying to make a point of not pushing myself and just learning how to breathe again.

I’m starting over in a new community, with a new church, and lots of new people. On one hand, it’s a blessing, because it’s a fresh start, but on the other hand it’s hard, because ever new person I meet is yet another person I’ll have to tell about my dad’s heath if I’m ever going to get to know them on any deeper level. It’s challenging, and often scary, because you never know what will come out of someone’s mouth, but I’m getting by. I’m putting one foot in front of the other, pulling myself out of bed, even when I’d rather hid under the covers, and hanging on to my Savior.

Right now, I can’t see the things I’m learning — sometimes, it feels as if the only thing I’ve gained from all my dad’s heath is a slightly bigger vocabulary — but at some point, maybe years from now, I know I’lll be able to see how I grew because of what I went through, but I’m not there yet.

At my church the pastor’s been going through the names of God, which has been just what I needed. I need to focus on who God is.

Grace for the moment,
-Kelsey

You are so right. When my husband died suddenly 8 1/2 years ago, nobody knew what to say to me, so people didn’t say much at all. But I learned one very valuable lesson: I remembered that, in the past, I’d never known what to say to people who had lost someone, either. Suddenly, I realized it didn’t really matter… just say something. Don’t ignore the person because it’s uncomfortable. Just ask them how they’re doing and they’ll guide the conversation. We don’t have to HEAL the other person, we just have to be there for them.

How are you doing, Kelsey?

~ Debi